Writing myself to freedom

So i guess its here i will spend my time writing myself to freedom, I have thought allot on what i want this blog to contain - Cus i have some days moment were i just feel to rant about stuff, and how angry i feel for certain mind stuff - But i have noticed that ranting away was a nice way to deal with the pressure building up when angry but it always come back so its a quick fix, and i just dont feel for ranting about stuff anymore i am FEED UP on myself and my mind and my accepted feelings and emotions and preconceived ideas building up and when they do i will breath through this moments by being aware as me as the breath in every moment and after write of the success i have made with applying myself effective, Anyway that is what i want it to be - but things tend to turn around on me if i expect to much - So maybe i will drop a A-Bomb in my blog just like that, cool...

Have also been very angry to why i have to make a blog, i really dont have to but allot of people at desteni.co.za that participating in the process from freeing your self from the mind have also started and i guess i felt pressure to make one to to push myself forward that i actually have to do something.

But here i am - I will not have any expectations on what i will write here and i will not say i will write here every day or maybe write here everyday - I will be here for my own good when i need to assist myself and share what i have notice in me - I think i will leave the A-Bombs for desteni forum... were they can assist me when i sinked in the mind again then i can come here to share about what happend and how i got out of the mind, or at least the mind construct.

But i also know that if i dont rant like i do at desteni i will not support as much people who may or may not have there own insights about them self by reading my blog - But if you are dedicated in the process visit Desteni.co.za and i will be there and talk my shit out also... so My blog is gonna be some what i combo of desteni and my blog... cus sometimes i like to post my forgiveness on the forum but feel i dont want to do it here... cus i am somewhat little shocking in my revelation on what i have hide inside my mind and what i have allowed myself to become as the mind system - But i its not me... still i am afraid of judgement specially from people that i call my friends - Thats odd? Shall not they be the ones i am least afraid of talking about this shit with? Cus it feels like i can care less what the world thinks about me... i give a shit in you, yes you! But the " friends " that can see me and know me and know were i live and can talk about secrets about me behind my back they are scary... that is some pretty fucked up shit... have not came up how i can in the best way diss engage myself from becoming friends and have friends cus that is some fucked up shit, you need to always compromise your self... But this is if you are a mind system you have accepted and become...

Anyway i guess i will be angry allot til i have really started to be effective in my process , mu anger comes from me knowing i am not effective and i have anger... that i can and so many do projecting out on other people insted to see that it is actually me that have accepted mysefl do become less then myself by accepting to allow feelings like anger to control my life cus i have allowed the anger to control my life - and cus of that i am angry cus i have not applied myself in every moment with my breath as the body i am...
so anger.... is always anger on me and will always be...

Okay thats my first blog Ever! that wasnt to bad - Light start

Trick - mind playing games with me, They are not real!